biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:
biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:
hello my foul little beasties, i am taking a (hopefully brief) hiatus to deal with some health & personal issues. in the meantime here are some terrible awful no good wholesome fun facts i’ve been meaning to share:
*a shriveled claw extends from the barren soil* hello my wretched lovelies, i have once again tunneled my way out of containment! i am returned to you like a long lost lover…like a faithful and persistent fungal infection. you’re welcome!
i am delighted to report (in no particular order) that i do NOT have cancer, i have finally gone no contact with my transphobic parents, I am receiving a Good Grade in Therapy (from my nice new therapist), and steady progress has been made on the Big Shiny Mystery Project i will be shoving down your throats circa 2024.
and now let’s ease back into our regularly scheduled shitposting with some more super wholesome fun facts!
- the collective nouns for clowns include “trunkload”
- at one point in history, billiard balls would occasionally explode during a game. tragically this was discontinued and sports have been going downhill ever since.
- given the opportunity, butterflies will happily drink spilled blood
- which is fine and totally less concerning than the fact some spiders nurse their young
- and whilst we’re on the subject of dedicated parents: adult wasps can’t eat the food they feed their larvae…because their waists are too small to digest solids
- last and also least: picture a kangaroo in your head.
- (go on, picture it. 3D rotate it in your mind. the kangaroo is a Shrinky Dink, a perfect stationary image melting in the centrifugal microwave of your mind’s eye…)
- are you picturing the kangaroo?
- INCORRECT that is a WALLABY